June 12, 2013

Introducing Me: Part 1


My name is Luci. I'm 18 years old and from Waycross, Georgia. I'm the oldest of three kids, mommy to Charlie, my miniature Schnoodle, and lover of F. Scott Fitzgerald, strawberries, and Marvel movies. While some of you may know all of this, I wanted to take the time to let you get to know me better, and, in turn, give me the chance to get to know you better as well.

My parents discovered that I had spectacular lungs about two seconds after I was born. I started screaming in the hospital and didn't stop for four years. Maybe five, depending on who you're asking. I like to think that those years of driving my parents to the point of insanity were just training for the future, but I'm not sure that Mama or Daddy would agree with me. Despite this very loud entrance into the world, I was extremely shy. The idea of being around new people or being in front of people was enough to paralyze me. I forgot how to talk or walk. I usually just cried in these situations. I spent the first thirteen and a half years of my life doing everything in my power to avoid the spotlight. I kept my head down, minded my own business, and never opened my mouth. I sat in the back of classrooms, not because I was a troublemaker, but because I was desperate to be ignored. I had a single goal, and that was to be as invisible as I could possibly be. Everything changed when I was thirteen and a half.

I would love to say that I had some grand epiphany, where the Spirit of the Lord descended upon me and said, "Lucille, you are going to be a singer. I give you all the courage and confidence and ability to sing any song tossed your way, to stand in front of any crowd, and to raise any roof holding you down." Not quite. In fact, the desire stemmed from a belief that I was going to marry Nick Jonas. I wanted to meet him, because I was sure if I did, he would fall unconditionally and irrevocably in love with me. And while that may be one of the most embarrassing and humbling admissions I've made, I do have to thank those three young men for sparking the idea that I was maybe meant to do something more incredible than I'd ever imagined. Combined with my general lack of ability to do anything even relatively interesting or impressive, the desire to someday be Mrs. Nick Jonas was enough to make me start thinking. And then came this inexhaustible, persistent, outright aggravating little feeling that this wouldn't be a phase I passed through. Even at thirteen, I knew the difference. I'd been through a LOT of phases.

I wrestled with that feeling for a long time. Like I said, my goal was anonymity. Being a singer would not help me out in accomplishing that goal. But the harder I tried to ignore it, to find contentment in the things I'd always done, the more restless and irritated I got. What business did I, of all people, have in thinking that I could be a singer? I was a nobody, from the middle of nowhere, with no talent, no training, no connections, and no idea whatsoever what I was doing. It was crazy. Completely mad. I was losing my mind, obviously. Trying to be something I wasn't. Yet there that feeling was. Knocking, whispering, poking me in the side, whacking me over the head with a two-by-four.

I remember the night I finally came to the decision to tell Mama I felt like Beau and I were being called to be singers I'll lay things out for you: a painfully shy 8th grader from Waycross who couldn't even answer questions in class without getting woozy approached her mother with the announcement that the Lord had placed a divine calling on her life. To be a singer. No, Mom, I haven't had anything funny to eat. Yes, I feel fine. No fever. Hallucinatory drugs? What are those? I was beyond terrified. I just knew she would laugh, tell me to be realistic. It was and is absolutely insane. How in God's name would a girl like ME become a successful singer? It's been almost five years and I'm still clueless. All I know to do is work hard and trust in God. One thing that has stuck with me is the saying that God doesn't call the qualified. He qualifies the called. I'm definitely not qualified, but I am the called. I don't know where God is going with this. I just know one thing: He is able, and I am willing to go where He sends me. And if that place is the top of the charts...well, who am I to complain?

Mama didn't laugh, and neither did Daddy, when I came clean. Oh, they were shocked. Geez, I was in shock! It was not something any of us had ever considered taking on. My parents were athletes. They coached softball and basketball and baseball. Daddy was an incredible drummer in high school and college, but he'd given it up before he and Mama got married. Mama was definitely not a singer (she always says she makes deaf people thankful they're deaf). Despite the unfamiliar territory, they looked me and Beau in the eyes and said that as long as we were willing to give our all, they would do anything and everything to help us every step of the way. It didn't matter that we were a pair of nobodies from nowhere. In that moment, I think all four of us saw it. We just had to figure out how to get there.

Four and a half years later, there have been bumps in the road, times of hopelessness and despair, aggravation, irritation, frustration, and near surrender. And scales. More scales than I ever want to do ever again, though I see years of them stretching out in front of me. They're both a curse and a blessing, but like strength or speed training for an athlete, they are a necessary evil. I've even got to the point that triad melodies and nine note scales give me a sense of peace. They are familiar and a part of me, just like my stack of lyric notebooks and the playlist that never stops in my mind. Singing is a part of me. Actually, I take that back. Singing is who I am. I am a singer. I have waited 18 years to say that, and I'm going to say it for the rest of my life. I am a singer. I am a singer. This is what I do. This is my job. This is my career. This is what I have been called to do, what I have been and will continue working towards. This is my passion, the thing that fills my soul with greater joy and sorrow that I've ever experienced. This is the most incredible thing I've ever done. And the best part? This is just the beginning. Isn't that exciting?

I meant to take this time to tell you more about myself, and I guess I have, as singing is a huge part of me. But now that I've waxed poetic about the dream my sister and I share, I will tell you a bit about myself. (Beau will be on soon to tell her side of the story. I'm excited to read it. She's a very...creative writer.)I am a singer, a writer, and a prolific reader. I love F. Scott Fitzgerald, Harper Lee, and John Grisham. The Perks of Being a Wallflower is my favorite book and movie, and I named my dog (a miniature poodle-schnauzer mix) Charlie, after the main character. However, I love fairy tales and books about magic, heroes, and post-apocalyptic battles between children the most. Peter Pan was my first true love. The Chronicles of Narnia were the first series of books to carry me to a world beyond my imagination. Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, and Hermione Granger were my best friends. Percy Jackson is and always will be my hero, and Katniss Everdeen...well, that girl is tough. I don't want to be on her bad side. I get too excited over Disney movies and Disney World. I want to be a mermaid, and I love being near the water, whether it's the pool or the ocean. I believe in magic, love, and Santa Claus. I love poetry, but I'm not very good at writing it. I think that movies should leave you feeling different, and that Friends is the best TV show ever. My favorite color is blue, my favorite singer is Ed Sheeran, and I knew the words to Don't Stop Believing and Fat Bottomed Girls before I knew my ABCs (a wonderful example of quality parenting, I must say). I like all sorts of music, from the oldies (but goodies) Pink Floyd, Nirvana, Led Zeppelin, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Journey, Fleetwood Mac, Johnny Cash, and Elvis to mainstream pop bands like One Direction, Little Mix, and Katy Perry to indie bands like Daughter, Lucy Rose, The Lumineers, and Bon Iver. I think Lana Del Rey is the queen, Marina and the Diamonds is brilliant, and The Veronicas are rock goddesses. I love my family more than anything, and I have the best friends I could ever ask for. I plan on being young forever and never growing up. So far, I'm doing pretty well.

I have the tendency to write more than is required (or desired), so I'm going to end here. Please continue to check back, to share us with your friends and family, and to give us a chance to get to know you. Thank you for everything you've already done. We are on a journey, and we're in it together, all the way to the top.

Xx, Luci

No comments:

Post a Comment